Nor is it time to lecture them about their manners and behaviors. Often when we are angry, there are other emotions hidden under the surface. Most of the iceberg is hidden below the water. What you can see from the surface can be misleading. When the children or youth are angry, it is not time to reciprocate their emotions. Anger Iceberg Icebergs are large pieces of ice found floating in the open ocean. Since anger is an indicator, the diagram above gives us a visual to help identify what is happening. This is a great visual reminder that every accomplished or successful person had to invest a lot of effort, work, and many other things until they achieved.5. I have experienced similar reactions with teens who will emotionally push me away by acting rude or distant initially. I have had many fun times with them and their family in the past, but it was easier for them to be mad and reject me. I understood their anger was sadness and disappointment because of the time distance. Initially, they physically attempted to push me away many times as I walked into the room. It can be easy to assume a child’s anger stems from surface-level events, but more is underneath that behavior or attitude than we could imagine.įor example, I met for a session with a child client after a long unexpected absence, and they were very angry with me. What is the real reason behind our kid’s anger? Or perhaps the better question is, “What can we do about it? This anger iceberg diagram is one tool I’ve found to be useful in understanding how anger truly works beneath the surface.
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